December 2, 2003
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And He's Off ... Again
Delia is sad and frustrated.
Derek is gone and his vacation didn't go the way she had visualized it. He left here without a hug from me or from his sister. Delia thinks affection must constantly be demonstrated in her sight and hearing for it to exist. She equated our casual departures as signs that we cared less for Derek than she does.
Cathy had left for work before Derek was out of bed. There was no chance for an emotional goodbye to be staged for Delia. Derek and Cathy are in frequent communication all of the time anyway, by email and cell phone, so they aren't really that far apart except in the physical dimension.
I am still in shock from losing my job. Even though I saw it coming, everything hits me harder in this time of the year. Derek and I had a couple of days together and it was comfortable, quality time. He didn't impose himself on me and I didn't feel obligated to entertain him. We just did stuff together and talked a bit. When we dropped him at the airport, I felt getting out from behind the wheel for a hug was not only unnecessary but would have placed unwanted strain on my knees at an awkward time. I no longer light from a car, I heavy from one. I compensated with what I hope was an adequate expression of my feelings.
Derek has now gotten as far as Chicago. He has promised to return next year ... and probably will. Delia will probably see him in January in Panamá. But she misses him now.
And she misses not having seen the shows of affection she expected to see, which probably hurts her more.
Comments (3)
Holiday blues are a part of my life too. Losing your job is a bummer, try to make the best of an unpleasant situation. Glad you got to spend 'QT' with Derek. ~Spot~
Affectioin is expressed in many different ways. It does not have to be visible to be there. In fact, I think many showy displays of affection are just that - for show with no meaning.
I am so sorry about your job. I had not heard. I have been through that. It is very hard.
Well, Cathy actually left for work while I was eating breakfast. We could have hugged, but neither one of us felt it was necessary. I'll be seeing her in less than a month anyway.